Starting therapy can feel as if you’ve arrived with an overfilled suitcase. It’s so full that it won’t close properly. Clothes are hanging out, dragging along the floor, becoming worn, torn and damaged and too heavy to carry.
Often, the suitcase has become so full that you’ve stopped looking inside it. You may have forgotten what clothes are actually in there. You may no longer know what you truly like or dislike, what fits you well, or what reflects who you are.
Some of the clothes may belong to an earlier version of yourself. Some may have been chosen to please other people, meet expectations, or help you fit in. You may have spent years wearing clothes that suggest you’re one kind of person, whilst deep down they never felt quite right.
Some clothes itch, restrict your movement, make you sweat, or feel uncomfortable, yet you’ve worn them for so long that you’ve come to accept the discomfort as normal. Some are too tight, reflecting beliefs, roles, or expectations you’ve outgrown. Others hang loosely from you, never really fitting in the first place, leaving you feeling disconnected from yourself.
Sometimes clothes even stop you from doing things you want to do. You might stand in front of a wardrobe knowing you want to go somewhere, but feel overwhelmed by nothing fitting quite right. Frustration builds, anxiety rises, and eventually you tell yourself it’s easier not to go at all, not because you don’t want the experience, but because of the fear of not being good enough, not fitting in, or not belonging.
In this way, what we carry doesn’t just affect comfort — it affects our choices, our confidence, and the opportunities we allow ourselves to take.
In therapy, we open the suitcase together and take everything out. We examine each item carefully.

You decide what you want to look at first. Nothing is forced or rushed. The process is led by you, at your pace, with time to stay with each item for as long as you need. There is no pressure to make quick decisions, and no expectation to discard anything before you are ready.
Some things no longer fit and can be let go. Some things have been damaged and need repair. Some things are valuable and worth keeping.
The process takes time. We don’t rush to throw everything away or force things back into the suitcase. Some items are easy to part with once we realise they no longer fit. Others are much harder to let go of because they carry memories, served a purpose at one time, or have been with us for so long that they’ve become familiar.
Sometimes it can be painful to unfold and examine things that have been buried at the bottom of the suitcase for years. There may be sadness, grief, anger, or fear as we look at them more closely. At times you may wonder whether it would be easier to simply close the suitcase and carry on as before.
Yet alongside the difficulty can come relief, curiosity and even a quiet sense of hope. As the suitcase becomes less cluttered, you begin to discover parts of yourself that may have been hidden for years. You reconnect with what feels comfortable, authentic and meaningful. You start to recognise not only what you’ve been carrying, but who has been carrying it all along.
As we sort through it, we fold and organise what matters, repair what needs attention, and create space for new experiences. The suitcase closes more comfortably. Nothing is dragging along the floor. There is room for what life may bring next.
Therapy isn’t about becoming someone new; it’s about discovering what remains when you stop carrying what was never truly yours and begin to make peace with what is.